funnythingshere

The Met Office has issued its first ever thunderstorm warning, with torrential rain, hail and lightning expected this weekend. A yellow “be aware” warning for thunderstorms is in place from 6am to 10pm tomorrow for southwest England and Wales, which could see 30-40mm of rainfall in an hour. Flood damage from storms ‘will double globally’ without coral reefs It comes after more than a week of heatwave temperatures led water companies including Severn Trent and Northern Ireland Water to ask customers avoid using hosepipes and water sprinklers. Meanwhile, as roads melted under the scorching sun, in some areas gritters were used to spread crushed rock dust on melting asphalt to prevent tyres from sticking. In Greater Manchester, fire raged on at Saddleworth Moor , leaving householders up to 10 miles away suffering oppressive heat indoors as they were unable to open windows.  Giselle Cullinane t...

OptaJokes has been been providing some hilarious World Cup stats and figures with a series of funny tweets. It is the latest and greatest Twitter account posting World Cup memes and stats along with the likes of "USA Soccer Guy". Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/interactives/optajokes-been-posting-hilarious-world-12810552

Chicago U.S.A.   -(Ammoland.com)-   The citizens elected you to office, but now your decisions screwed up the local economy. Working Americans left your city to find jobs. You replaced those voters with illegal aliens. After all, you didn’t want your political district hollowed out and eliminated. When you read the papers, or listen outside at night, you’re reminded that  gangs shoot about 10 people every night.   So what do you do? If you’re a Chicago politician, you blame something else, and anyone else, but yourself. Chicago is a terrible place to do business given the layers of permits, licenses, regulations, taxes, fees and corruption. Small businesses and the middle class left long ago. Faced with that decline, the Chicago solution is to impose higher taxes and more regulations. A Chicago politician can always blame the Trump economy for Chicago’s failures and its violence..except that the current economy is setting new record highs...

Art education is an extremely important aspect of a well rounded education . But as Redditor jjustjjoseph points out, art teachers need to be careful with the subjects they ask their students to paint. Jjustjjoseph posted an image of a gallery wall of images of candlelight from a children’s art class to Reddit’s r/funny board. He’d noticed all the flames drawn bore a striking resemblance to something else entirely. Dear art teachers, please don’t ask your young students to paint “candlelight”… from r/funny That’s right. Those are supposed to be candle flames. The comment section for the post is filled with Georgia O’Keefe references: Advertisement Card Amazing jokes like this: Card Card And a lot of skepticism. Because, well, just look. User itsallmysky commented that while most of them could pass for flames, “That middle one is straight up just a vagina.” Still, it’s hilarious. And regardless of whether the...

A brief run around a test track with AAA researchers demonstrated just how stupid we human beings can become while using smart technology to get around. At least I was. The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety"s hands-on demonstration infotainment and navigation systems also showed why efforts to combat distracted driving could be making it worse -- and how the auto industry, smartphone makers and the federal government (and yes, most of the public) have decided to sacrifice a certain number of lives for everyday convenience. The simulated road test -- conducted in a Prince George"s County, Maryland, church parking lot with researchers from the University of Utah -- was designed to highlight the findings of a new AAA report on the relative merits of different navigation systems for vehicles. AAA teamed with the University of Utah to study the relative efficiency of infotainment and navigation systems -- those that come preloaded in vehicles and those developed by Apple C...

The company was granted a 15-month probationary license. Press Association via AP Images Uber has won the right to keep operating in London, at least temporarily. Judge Emma Arbuthnot of Westminster Magistrates" Court granted the ride-hailing company a probationary license subject to review every 15 months. Uber will also be subject to more regulatory scrutiny. Transport for London (TfL), the British capital"s transportation agency, declined to renew Uber"s operating license when it expired last fall. The agency cited concerns about certain Uber policies, including background checks and reporting of crimes committed by Uber drivers. Uber appealed the decision, and has been allowed to continue operating in London during the appeals process. Under the terms of the decision, Uber must provide TfL with an independently-verified audit of its operations every six months. The decision also lays out rules for how Uber must report crimes committed by its drivers, complaints fro...

Competitors come together to speak out against man-made jumps that they say cause crashes. ANDREAS SOLARO—AFP/Getty Images While cars only take to the air in NASCAR and Formula 1 after something has already gone incredibly wrong, in the World Rally Championship it is a routine occurrence and part of the sport"s appeal. However, drivers are speaking out against the artificial jumps that have been added to some recent rally stages as being unnecessary and dangerous, reports Motorsport.com . "We all agreed as drivers, it"s not clever to build these artificial, short, kicking jumps in the middle of a long straight," WRC champion Sebastien Ogier told Motorsport.com . "I have nothing against jumps, I love it and they can make as many jumps as they want, but make them progressive and not the ramp so sharp and short. We come in sixth gear and it"s stupid." At last weekend"s Rally Italia Sardegna, Toyota driver Ott Tanak hit one of these jumps on the Mon...

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Ian Shuttleworth June 30, 2018 Print this page Jemma Kennedy’s play about the business (in every sense) of human fertility is smart, funny and complex. And the closer it gets to saying what it seems to want to say, the more of a mess it becomes. Harry Enfield’s second ever appearance in a stage play is much more assured than his first, some 18 months ago. He’s still a little deliberate with the hand gestures, and still noticeably “doing” a character, but since he plays not only the director of an IVF clinic about to be floated on the stock market but also Karl Marx (with a press-night moustache malfunction), this is understandable. He fits well in Laurie Sansom’s slick, sardonic production with its multiple video screens and bizarre pre-show music: plinky-plonk, synthetic-chiming arrangements of songs from Run-DMC’s “Walk This Way” to Radiohead’s “No Surprises” . Several plot strands interweave. The broker han...

Published 4:31 PM, June 30, 2018 Updated 4:31 PM, June 30, 2018 Screengrab of a June 26 radio-bbc.com post claiming Pope Francis defended President Rodrigo Duterte"s "God is stupid" remark. Claim : Pope Francis supposedly defended President Rodrigo Duterte’s most recent tirade against the Catholic Church saying “real God is not a religion.” He also supposedly advised people to “not drag the church into politics.” In a June 26 post, blog radio-bbc.com ran the headline, “Real god is not a religion, the relationship with your god is what matters – Pope.” The post was shared in 8 Facebook pages and groups, and one Reddit group, all of which accounted for a total of 1,288 interactions and 645,471 followers as of June 30. A similar claim in video format has also been published in at least 4 video-hosting websites by “Cebu and Davao Journey.” Its channel on YouTube has a following of 33,000 users and is active in uploading mislea...

Here are the 10 movies that made us laugh the most in the first six months of the year, ranked. In darkest times, we need a good laugh. Actually, we need a good laugh any time. Sadly, in recent years, good comedy on the big screen has been hard to come by. At least in a direct, definitively classified comedy genre form. Last year’s greatest (only?) laugh out loud movies came out of the superhero genre. We’ve got some of that in 2018, as well, but this has also been a very good year already for real comedies. Studio comedies, even. Maybe there are just more of them? There still seem to be as many clunkers as usual, but midway into 2018, we’ve seen some excellent mainstream comedies along with a few funny indies and a couple British imports that probably should have come out in 2017 and balanced out that year. I do feel the need to admit I haven’t yet seen Tully ,  Book Club , or Love, Simon , all of which I hear ought to be considered (maybe they’ll be ...

T he last time brothers Shane and Clayton Jacobson partnered on a feature film, the result was a bona fide Australian classic: the 2006 toilet cleaner mockumentary Kenny . Starring Shane and directed by Clayton, it premiered in a small town in Victoria called Poowong (the pun was definitely intended) and became a surprise smash hit down under, even spawning a short-lived television spin-off. Eleven years later, the Jacobson siblings return with Brothers’ Nest, both starring in the lead roles, and with Clayton (a long-time actor, recently appearing in Top of the Lake: China Girl) once again directing. This is also a comedy, albeit of a much darker kind. It is a stunningly depraved piece of work, infused with itchy psychological energy and structured in the way of a wordy, nowhere-to-run chamber piece. Brothers’ Nest premiered earlier this year at Austin’s SXSW festival , joining a coterie of recent Australian films to receive gushing reviews from critics abroad, before...

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The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)  said today that dangerous heat is expected to grip much of the central and northeastern United States ahead of the Fourth of July weekend. Temperatures are expected to climb well into the 90s from the lower Great Lakes region to New England , according to NOAA, with record highs in a number of states—including New York , Pennsylvania , and New Jersey . Indeed, it looks as though few states will be spared. NOAA’s maximum heat index map for Monday, July 6, has more shades of red than an Italian winery. If you’re looking to escape the heat, NOAA suggests making a break for coastal Southern California, the Pacific Northwest, or the inland across the Northern Rockies. [NOAA] The Weather Channel is blaming an upper-level ridge of high pressure, which is sometimes called a “heat dome,” according to USA Today . I confess I had to Google this term to learn what it meant. Apparently, it’...

What are history’s most weird and wonderful facts? The past is full of curious stories, from a 1930s chastity belt to Boston’s "toffee apple" tsunami. And did Mary really have a little lamb? We round up the most surprising history facts June 27, 2018 at 11:45 am Here, author and journalist Eugene Byrne rounds up 13 of the most surprising facts from history… 1 The first proposal for space travel in English history was made by Oliver Cromwell’s brother-in-law Theologian and natural philosopher John Wilkins (1614–72), who married Cromwell’s youngest sister Robina, was a polymath of great learning and curiosity, and would be one of the founders of the Royal Society. In two books he explored the possibility of “flying chariots” to carry men to the moon. Advertisement He believed, as did many others, that the moon and planets were inhabited, and that we should meet these people and trade with them. People were anchored to ...

Dear Crabby, Am I in the minority in thinking too many drivers on the road ought to be required to take driver’s ed again? My suspicion is that it’s mostly from that nasty addiction to staring at their smart phones (which may be an oxymoron). The main issue is that folks can’t seem to stay in their lanes — even the commercial truck drivers, who are supposed to be professional drivers. I’ve learned to watch them closely and be ready to take evasive action. Pretty scary when they are coming at you from the opposite direction, and you realize they are drifting over the center line and coming into your lane. With that established, here is a quick rundown of my pet peeves, which I encounter anywhere I go at any time of the day or night: • Turn signals. Yeah those blinky light things that are supposed to be courteously employed to give other drivers a heads-up about your directional intentions. Some folks seem to have forgotten how to use them. • I...

The company was granted a 15-month probationary license. Press Association via AP Images Uber has won the right to keep operating in London, at least temporarily. Judge Emma Arbuthnot of Westminster Magistrates" Court granted the ride-hailing company a probationary license subject to review every 15 months. Uber will also be subject to more regulatory scrutiny. Transport for London (TfL), the British capital"s transportation agency, declined to renew Uber"s operating license when it expired last fall. The agency cited concerns about certain Uber policies, including background checks and reporting of crimes committed by Uber drivers. Uber appealed the decision, and has been allowed to continue operating in London during the appeals process. Under the terms of the decision, Uber must provide TfL with an independently-verified audit of its operations every six months. The decision also lays out rules for how Uber must report crimes committed by its drivers, complaints fro...